Things That Students Say

2011-07-11T09:21:00.001-04:00

I feel like our relationship is like playing zombies on C.O.D... The longer we last the more "points" we get and more security in our relationship... Meaning like the more we're together the more we experience and things become more easy because we open "new doors", like trust, respect and true love. And yeah more "zombies" will come and it will become hard, but, if we stay smart, stand our ground and work together, we can make it to new awesome levels. I love you. Thank you so much for not giving up on me and for being here for me.
Between two of students who have been dating for two months. This was posted on her wall. Submitted by Stephen Luzader.

2011-05-31T09:22:00.000-04:00

Youthworker: You guys want to take an ice cream break?
Student: A what? Light scream?
Isn't it great to know students listen so attentively?

2011-05-30T14:20:00.000-04:00

Your phone smells.

2011-05-29T10:20:00.000-04:00

Youthworker: I thought the only way to kill a zombie was to blow it's head off?
Student: That's a modern myth.

2011-05-28T12:30:00.000-04:00

#1: Do you want mine [glasses]?
#2: Nooooo! They've been touching your FACE!

2011-05-27T11:19:00.000-04:00

My brother's name is Grady. He flushed a chicken nugget down the toilet a couple years ago.

2011-05-26T10:19:00.001-04:00

I want to play lacrosse. I just want to hit someone with a stick.

2011-04-27T15:45:00.000-04:00

It's like heaven: root beer at every meal!
Aldersgate Camp & Retreat Center. There's a soda machine in the dining hall there.

2011-04-26T13:45:00.000-04:00

This music is very Mediterranean.
Bob Marley's "One Love."

2011-04-24T09:42:00.000-04:00

I have SFD, spontaneous fart disease. I was diagnosed last week.
Isn't this just gas? I mean...what's NON-spontaneous farting?

2011-04-21T10:41:00.000-04:00

That would hurt, though, if a light sabre came out of your butt.

2011-04-20T07:41:00.002-04:00

Youth leader: Paul went to jail.
Student: Not me! They rape you in there, and with a body like mine I would be trouble!
Submitted by Aaron Tucker

2011-02-23T22:30:00.001-05:00

What's a turd?

2011-02-21T10:34:00.000-05:00

I smell DELICIOUS! Smell me!
Overheard @ CIY's Jr. High Believe

2011-02-19T19:34:00.000-05:00

Student 1: Was Zaccheaus a midget or just short?

Teacher: The bible just says he was a wee little man, if he was a "little person" it probably would have been difficult for him to climb the tree

Student 2: Let's just say he was "Fun Size" !
Submitted by Matt Beeman

2011-02-16T15:41:00.002-05:00

The guitar is making things weird.

2011-02-15T13:41:00.001-05:00

I want to be a black dot!

2011-02-14T12:40:00.001-05:00

I'm dead, I'm just looking.

2011-02-12T11:40:00.001-05:00

Thomas, don't sit on the youth.

2011-02-11T10:39:00.001-05:00

Youthworker: Can you compare your fear to what Nehemiah went through?
Student: What did you and brian go through?

2011-02-10T08:39:00.003-05:00

Male Youthworker: That's why I cook dinner with one hand and keep my BB gun in the other.
Student: You cook dinner?!?

2011-02-08T12:09:00.002-05:00

I sure hope no one sees me pull up in the parking lot riding with you in this hooptie church van!
Submitted by Aaron Tucker

2011-02-01T11:16:00.000-05:00

This/That - "Marissa or Ductape"
Marissa jumps to "Ductape," says, "Ductape is so much more useful.
Submitted by David Camphouse

2011-02-01T09:15:00.002-05:00

Wooooa...I'm gonna have kids waaaaay before 28 -that's ancient!!
Submitted by Heather Werle.

2011-01-30T16:04:00.002-05:00

Jesus wants to play some GOLF!
Response when asked to turn off Wii Sports to start small group.

2011-01-29T10:50:00.000-05:00

Student #1: So...how did Mary get pregnant by the Holy Spirit?
Student #2: God put it in her! Wait...not like that.

2011-01-29T09:31:00.000-05:00

They are not serving breakfast yet or OBVIOUSLY I would be in there.

2011-01-27T10:31:00.000-05:00

Why weren't we allowed to bring like combat stuff?
7th grader questioning retreat rules.

2011-01-25T16:30:00.000-05:00

My brother is afraid of growing fur under his arm.

2011-01-23T11:10:00.000-05:00

Student: What's your major?
Small group leader: Civil engineering.
Student: That's what I want to be! Wait...what is that?

2011-01-22T13:29:00.000-05:00

Snuggernaut? The last time I heard that word someone went to prison.

2011-01-20T12:28:00.000-05:00

My boss wanted me to watch a video about how to use an epi pen but I told him I've seen Pulp Fiction so I know how to stab someone in the leg with a needle.

2011-01-18T14:27:00.000-05:00

I need a heavier leopard.

2011-01-14T11:26:00.000-05:00

That won't scar, that'll just puss for a while longer.

2011-01-13T16:25:00.002-05:00

Youth Pastor: People didn't go to the movies back then, they went to the Coliseum to watch Christians get eaten by lions.
Student: That would be a weird date!
Submitted by Aaron Tucker

2010-05-13T11:57:00.000-04:00

Did you just throw a hedgehog at my face?

2010-05-12T11:57:00.000-04:00

I didn't realize you guys got a real fake deer.

2010-05-11T11:56:00.000-04:00

I'm probably half Italian because my dad works at the Olive Garden.

2010-05-10T11:56:00.001-04:00

How does the coffee stay in that cardboard box?
re: Dunkin's Box o' Joe

2010-05-09T11:55:00.000-04:00

Fat Albert's too fat.

2010-05-08T11:54:00.000-04:00

That smells like something I would use in my shower.

2010-05-07T11:53:00.000-04:00

Jesus WAS a zombie - he came back to life!
8th grade boy. Submitte by Amy Anderson.

2010-05-06T11:52:00.000-04:00

No, I didn't get pooped on.

2010-05-05T11:50:00.000-04:00

Youth Pastor: (About the first plague) So Moses touch the Nile and the water turned to...
Student: Pee?
Submitted by Aaron Tucker

2010-05-04T11:50:00.001-04:00

Youth Pastor: God himself made these! (after eating a Reese's)
Student: Nah, that took the whole Trinity!
Submitted by Aaron Tucker

2010-01-31T11:49:00.000-05:00

Why bother looking out the window when all there is is trees?

2010-01-29T11:48:00.001-05:00

Your baby's recharged. She spend some time in her docking station.
Re: my Palm Pre on it's magic Touchstone

2010-01-28T11:48:00.000-05:00

I feel like I don't get as much traction on ice...

2010-01-27T11:46:00.001-05:00

Hey dad, you want to fix my zipper?

2010-01-26T11:46:00.000-05:00

The double cheeseburger stole my soul.
re: McDonalds

2010-01-14T13:59:00.000-05:00

I miss the smell of that hallway.

2010-01-13T09:58:00.000-05:00

Should we drop them in water so they're extra feisty?
re: kitten batting cages

2010-01-12T09:58:00.000-05:00

Kitten batting cages: fun to play, sucks to clean up.

2010-01-11T15:57:00.000-05:00

Sparkly Santas are always the coolest.

2010-01-10T20:56:00.000-05:00

I either got a text message or my pants just ripped.
Via Dennis Beckner.

2010-01-10T13:56:00.000-05:00

Don't Google-image 'kilt.' Just don't.

2010-01-09T18:56:00.002-05:00

He was BLACK!?!
In a discussion about Michael Jackson as the boy wonder in the Jackson 5.

2010-01-06T08:47:00.003-05:00

He came out all 'Jesusy' and stuff.
A teenage girl recounting the resurrection of Christ. Submitted by Jason Huffman.

2009-12-28T14:54:00.001-05:00

She was sick. She needed a kidney plantation.

2009-12-16T09:44:00.000-05:00

Swimmers are more likely to drown than people.

2009-12-16T09:19:00.000-05:00

One boy "has a messed up belly button; it's fat and sticks out."

Another boy, a swimmer, was showing his own sticking out belly button, and the student said "whatever, stick some tape on it so it doesn't cause drag."

Re: Previous post about the weird belly button, that applies to Edward. That reminded students of other weird belly buttons they have seen.

2009-12-15T16:19:00.000-05:00

Our coach has temperature tantrums.

2009-12-14T15:18:00.000-05:00

Whatever. I don't come here to learn.
In response to one student trying to get another to listen to and engage in the discussion.

2009-12-13T13:17:00.000-05:00

I'm like a dog - I shed.

2009-12-12T11:16:00.000-05:00

Adult: How would you feel if you heard "a sword will pierce your soul"?
Student: I'd be like "sweeeet, is that how I die"?

2009-12-11T10:15:00.000-05:00

He was not some knock off little baby that comes from a store.
Talking about how Mary would feel about statements made about Jesus.

2009-12-10T14:12:00.003-05:00

I think 2 and 3 year olds are lots cuter than actual babies.

2009-12-10T09:15:00.002-05:00

[Mary was] getting him circumcised, getting the normal thing done for a baby.

2009-12-10T09:11:00.002-05:00

Blonde #1: I got thrown into the water and I can't even swim!
Blonde #2: Did you drown?
Submitted by Aaron Tucker

2009-12-02T11:27:00.000-05:00

Make peace. Don't, like, you know...not make peace.
Submitted by Brandi Manes.

2009-12-02T10:49:00.000-05:00

Tampico? Is that a drink or a feminine product?

2009-12-01T17:24:00.002-05:00

I'm pretty sure if you are riding a camel and someone throws you a fish, you could catch it.
Submitted by ChrisModrzejewski

2009-12-01T12:33:00.000-05:00

Cheryl's here and she's got a BABY hanging off of her!
In reference to my wife's presence (and other's NON-presence) at a service project when Cheryl was 40+ weeks pregnant.

2009-12-01T08:48:00.002-05:00

"I've had something in my mouth since 2nd grade."
re: braces & orthodontical equipment. Yeah...I said orthodontical. I made it up.

2009-11-29T12:31:00.002-05:00

Leader: The early church spent a lot of time together. They didn't go to the bathroom together but they were together a lot.

Student: No! In Latin times, in early Roman times, they did go to the bathroom together! They all shared a sponge to wipe their butts. You dipped the sponge in this bucket of water and you were all sitting together, going to the bathroom. If you were rich you could have your own toilet and sponge.

2009-11-28T12:30:00.002-05:00

#1: It's hard not to grow...
#2: Unless you're short.
Conversation regarding spiritual growth.

2009-11-27T12:29:00.002-05:00

Girls: Bella and Edward frolic in the fields.
Boy: What's frolic?
Girls: [insert full frolicking demo here]

2009-11-26T12:27:00.000-05:00

He has the weirdest belly button.
New Moon actor.

2009-11-25T11:48:00.004-05:00

Can we go out to the tree where we climb like squirrels?
7th grader asking about small group location

2009-11-24T09:48:00.001-05:00

The Super Bowl players don't eat dinner...they have to play the game.

2009-11-23T12:27:00.002-05:00

Lust! Lust!
Boy in response to girls talking animatedly about New Moon.

2009-11-23T10:47:00.002-05:00

Hey! I said 'woo' too!

2009-11-22T13:46:00.001-05:00

Ooooh, the Amish! I've never seen that before in my life! No wonder there's so many cows!

On the bus coming back from fall retreat.

2009-11-21T09:46:00.001-05:00

I'm having an issue with my cake sauce.

2009-11-20T11:45:00.002-05:00

PROSTATE! (with a mouth full of bagel)

2009-11-19T10:44:00.001-05:00

Student 1: Kill the wasp with your Bible!
Student 2: No dude! Then I'd have wasp guts all over the Word!

2009-11-18T14:53:00.000-05:00

I don't know what the big deal is: 2,000 years ago everyone was wearing dresses.
Submitted by TJ Schley

2009-11-18T10:44:00.000-05:00

Where's India, in Africa?

2009-11-17T11:53:00.002-05:00

I can't hear you, I've got pepper in my teeth.
Submitted by TJ Schley

2009-11-17T10:00:00.000-05:00

Grandma: You're supposed to be acolyting.
Student: CRAP!

2009-11-16T22:51:00.000-05:00

Hold up your cheese!
to my 19 mo. old daughter at a Cincinnati Reds game.

2009-11-16T22:43:00.000-05:00

God, thank you for a wonderful weekend of football & we pray for a great game today with the Bengals beating the Steelers & taking control of the AFC north...thanks. Amen.
Clearly God heard and answered this prayer offered up before small groups.

2009-10-24T13:41:00.000-04:00

When I think of Christ, I think of candy.

2009-10-23T13:41:00.000-04:00

Goom-ba-yah, my Lord.
A spontaneous song that broke out at a campfire.

2009-10-22T13:40:00.000-04:00

I am glad I wore shoes.
@ a campfire on retreat. In October.

2009-10-21T13:39:00.000-04:00

I've never met them. Maybe they were really nice personally.
Regarding Hitler & Mussolini.

2009-10-20T13:39:00.000-04:00

Are you the Brian-dude who's picking the movie?
A guest @ our annual outdoor movie night.

2009-10-19T13:39:00.002-04:00

Hold up your cheese!
To my 19 month old daughter @ a Cincinnati Reds game.

2009-09-29T20:52:00.000-04:00

Describe how Jesus is changing you: "Well, before if my house caught on fire I would grab my video games but now I think I would grab my Bible too."
Submitted by Cheyne Davidson

2009-09-28T20:51:00.002-04:00

"We just want to be treated like adults; adults who play games and talk a lot."
Jr. High Girl | submitted by Cheyne Davidson